When I Dream About You

Ku menuliskan kegelisahan lewat kata
Menorehkan rasa melalui rangkaiannya
Tentang asa, serinai kerinduan
Ia yang kunanti dalam pelukan
Ia yang sedarah dengan sang bujang

Sungguh tak pantas lontaran keluhan

Pertanda hilang malu atas rahmatan

Seakan tak puas besaran limpahan

Pada penghidupan, pada keniscayaan

Ku mencari pertanda dalam sekian titian jalan

Makna dalam segenap garisannya

Lalu terhentak, 

Bukan hakku bertanya

Tugasku hanya meminta

Karena jika Ia berkehendak

Ada dan tiada

Semua keputusanNya . . .

*

Foto oleh : http://www.newbornbabystuff.com/baby-accessories-cream-and-pink-floral-baby-girl-shoes-by-martbabyaccessories/

Back (just right) in time !

Time to write again :)

Here I am now, three years later from my last post. My baby boy just turned two yo yesterday. A lot of things need to catch up. Then again, I'm here, Ling is back. Shall write all the dreams, all my wishes, all of me...

12:51 AM

Jan 26th, 2016

A Blessing in Disguise

Less than a week ago I made a confession, that I'm not ready yet....
But obviously Allah SWT doesn't stay on the same page with  me...
Allah SWT always knows what the best for me.
Allah SWT gives me a little surprise by this morning . . .

The first test pack

 I ran to my hubby as soon as I saw this two stripes, well his eye lids were literally still closed.
The two stripes were blurred, so I had another shot with a new pregnancy test pack. It's still the same !
Wow...We both started to think that this thing is for real :D.

Sooooo . . . to make sure that this was not fakin'-sort-of-kind syndrome, I went to hospital on my way to work to have a lab check.

And... whoalaaaaa......

My laboratory result ^_^v

It's official !!! Sort of heheheh... since I need to see my doctor first to really-as if in really-make sure that me and my hubby are going to be a parent !

Though I'm not really that conscious , it turns out that I AM HAPPY ^____^
I'm gonna be a mummy, yeaayyyy :D 

No yet, just a little more time . . .

Having through this jealousy is really eating me up to deep inside. At the surface, I may wanna have the same experience like hundreds, thousands, millions other women ever had. But far away in my hidden heart, I know I'm not ready, just not yet.

Source : https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOvB6X_l9jUIiXuQkJ59ftTDOG3lUDa6v1FUIehofC5z8Kah5SU8tqJLppHiT25e9Juzr7iPDY0dPz-K5IFE0u6N_aSTTZlg6qZhhyphenhyphenVKhy77RcnYdz5-5cff69CAh1mLjZNGEsQkK1HTXo/s1600/woman+looking+out+the+window.jpg

 
All those faces that I have been wearing are only to fulfill other people's wishes.
They are done based on the reasons of age, health, time . . .  and time . . . and consequences . . .  
A lot of people's advice were taken, many to-do lists were noted.
To have the wish of becoming true.
But I realize, this dream is not mine.
As I am not ready . . .
Not yet . . .

Jennifer Hudson - If This Isn't Love with Lyrics

If this is not love, tell me what it is ?
I could be dreaming or just plain crazy !
I must be very selfish because I don't wanna share him with nobody.
If this is not love, then please, tell me what is it ?

Can't Help Falling in Love (Elvis) - ThePianoGuys

Wise men say only fools rush in.
But I can't help falling in love with you.
Shall I stay ?
Would it be a sin ?
If I can't help falling in love with you . . .

A Good Rain Knows . . .

"Rain on a Spring Night"

 By Dù-Fǔ


Congratulations, rain
you know when to fall

And you know quite well
you belong to spring

Coming at night, quiet
walking in the wind

Making sure things
get good and wet

The clouds hang dark
over country roads

There's one light from a boat
coming downriver

In the red morning
everything's wet

Flowers all through Chengdu
heavy and full of rain.


(Translated by David Young)




I'm feeling like lost in time.
There is a silence flowing around me, circling everywhere.
Yet, something reminds me to keep on believing
That everything has its own time, especially for love.
Like a good rain, it knows when the perfect time to come . .

How I Met Your Dad

I have always wanted to loose-up, well, indeed I believe I really need to :). For example, by sharing those silly things that just pop into my mind.  So, this piece is kind of my "loose-up" attempt, inspired by a sit-com at Channel 7 that I just watched, How I Meet Your Mother. Enjoy :)



Dear kids,
Do you wanna know how I met your dad ?
The thing is, I don't know (yet) ^_^
However, just to answer your question, lets the imagination swirls it up for us, shall we?

I met your dad in that right condition
When I was ready and he was far more than me
We skipped all those silly trial time and teenagers' fight
Because we knew everything was right

I met your dad when your grandma finally said yes
Good on your dad, he stole your granny's heart
Ow yeah, your granddad's as well
I reckoned that moment when your dad asked them for my hand
Your granny smiled, the sweetest one above all
It's her grant, that I endorsed the most
To bestow that man to be your dad as today

The most important thing, kids,
I met you dad at that perfect time
The time that I shall never forget
He stepped into my limelight and melt me down
Crushed all that walls that I have been built for whole past years

Well kids,
Your dad changed my life.
In a way that I would never think of before.
He made me believe in love again
He made me smile and washed away all the pain
As if those past tears never remained.

Image source : http://filesll.fluxstatic.com/00CDB0E501800C6E00073EFBFFFF/633882516600000000

And kids,
Your dad gave me you.
The most precious things in my life.
Seeing you open your eyes for the first time 
Guiding you to take your first step
Hearing your first word, "mum. . ."
Are moments that never failed to make me say
How lucky I am to meet your dad at that day
:)

#the end

*Clayton, March 5, 2012

Hayley Westenra ~ Listen To The Wind

Time is a river that flows endlessly
And a life is a whisper, a kiss in a dream

Shadows dance behind the firelight
And all the spirits of the night remind us:
We are not alone

Tomorrow: a sun soon rising
And yesterday is there beside us
And it's never far away

If you listen to the wind you can hear me again
Even when I'm gone you can still hear the song
High up in the trees as it moves through the leaves
Listen to the wind, there's no end to my...

Love is forever a circle unbroken
The seasons keep changing; it always remains

Spring will melt the snows of winter
And the summer gives us days of light
So long till autumn makes them fade

Remember the sound of laughter
We ran together through the meadows
Still we thought our hearts could break

If you listen to the wind, you can hear me again
Even when I'm gone you can still hear the song
High up in the trees as it moves through the leaves
Listen to the wind and I'll send you my love

Listen to the wind where the sky meets the land
I'm not really gone I've been here all along
High up in the trees in the sound of the leaves
Listen to the wind there's no end to my...

Time is a river that flows to the sea
And a life is a whisper, a kiss in a dream. . .

Welcome to hustle bustle of mind . . .

Is it OK to feel exhausted ?

Suddenly losing passion on all things that I'm dealing with

Here is the point when questions arose.

Is it worth the prize?

Is it the correct way to take?

Hei, I'm able to move on.

Indeed, I can survive in the end.

But this emotional roller-coaster of mind . .

Drowning . . .

Consuming . . .

source : https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCwYAewn3LwdaCeRWgQsldYqWT8CveLDM8T8YjYUaJGP8gnivGJRPN5lUmLL9GZ989ofNfhKUBpsbpiaIjK01-VSlRGnbAlk4mZb5pfcnlgCPUwS2zK02gD_cDX_3NiDIH5xFBBcJNeJet/s400/alone-in-a-crowd-1.jpeg

Alhamdulillah . . .

Alhamdulillahirabbilallamin. . .

Betapa besar nikmat yang Engkau berikan kepada hamba ya Allah.

Penyejuk hati di kala kerinduan terhadap keluarga dan rumah menguasai.

Ya Rabb, ampunilah seluruh keluhan-keluhan hamba di saat hamba seharusnya banyak bersyukur

Ya Rahman,Ya Rahim, kuatkanlah hamba menjalani perjalanan ini.

Bimbinglah hamba dalam mengapai ilmu, menebus cita-cita

Tunjukkanlah jalan yang Engkau ridhoi dan berikanlah penerang setiap langkah ini

Amin ya rabbalalamin

Dean's Recognition Award for Outstanding Semester Result, 12 August 2011, 2.30 pm

Chasing Pavements*

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong, I am right
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust
I know this is love
But, if I tell the world
I'll never say enough
'cause it was not said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do
If I end up with you

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/80/211963005_2f7a8d1b22.jpg

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere

I build myself up
And fly around in circles
Waiting as my heart drops
And my back begins to tingle
Finally, could this be it


Or should I give up
Or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there

Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place should I leave it there
Should I give up
Or should I just keep on chasing pavements
Should I just keep no chasing pavement


*Adele

. . . kau membuka, luka lama yang kuingin lupa . . .

On my way to a book quest today at Gr*me*ia, my eyes caught this jewelry on display. It was hidden on the corner. Silently waited to be looked at. The exact ring. Emptiness crawled while it instantly resounded my memory of . . .

July 15 2011, 14.00 WIB

Home Sweet Home

Maybe I surrounded by,
A million people, I still feel all alone.
Oh I miss you, you know
I just wanna come home.
Let me go home . . .

Lubang di Hati*

Ku buka mata dan ku lihat dunia

Telah kuterima anugerah cinta-Nya

Tak pernah aku menyesali yang ku punya

Tapi ku sadari, ada lubang dalam hati

Ku cari sesuatu yang mampu mengisi lubang ini

Ku menanti jawaban, apa yang dikatakan oleh hati

Apakah itu kamu ? Apakah itu dia ?

Selama ini ku cari tanpa henti

Apakah itu cinta ? Apakah itu cita ?

Yang mampu melengkapi lubang di dalam hati

source : http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l9kwibSIfL1qc3mufo1_500.jpg

Ku mengira hanya dia lah obatnya

Tapi ku sadari bukan itu yang ku cari

Ku teruskan perjalanan panjang yang begitu melelahkan

Dan ku yakin Kau tak ingin aku berhenti

Apakah itu kamu ? Apakah itu dia ?

Selama ini ku cari tanpa henti

Apakah itu cinta ? Apakah itu cita ?

Yang mampu melengkapi lubang di dalam hati

Yang kan mengisi lubang di dalam hati . . .


*by Letto

My (other) First Assignment :)

Got this document back today.

It's an HD (high distinction) :) !

 One thing that made my day was when Jinna (my lecturer) announced me as the best speaker of all the teams. Alhamdulillah :). I even got a bunny chocolate as the present hehehe. Thanks to Allah SWT for all of these blessings. However, it's obviously not an end, as the matter of fact, a new beginning ! I shall never be carried away only because of two good marks. I have to study harder and try with all my very best to make my parents proud of me, wish me luck ^_^v . . . .

Lelaki Sepuluh Huruf *

Lelaki sepuluh huruf,


Lamat – lamat waktu mengalihkan duniaku.
Jarak meniup bayangmu pada jejakku.
Pikiranku tentangmu pun berangsur pergi.
Teori – teori sosial di bangku kuliah ini seakan membunuh hadirmu dalam ingatku.
Pelan – pelan berbagai istilah menyesaki otakku dan menimpa namamu.
Sepuluh hurufmu terkubur oleh ribuan kalimat.
Tsunami ilmu ini meratakanmu.


Tapi…. tidak untuk hari ini …


Sepuluh huruf mu seperti penanda tanggal ini.
Sebuah panggilan yang tak banyak orang tahu, hanya kau dan aku
Bulan April merayu dan membangkitkanmu dari kubur mimpiku.
Aries menjadi anomali yang mempekatkan namamu.
Sepuluh huruf yang dulu sering kusapa, ku hembus dalam setiap doa.


Masa lalu adalah masa yang terlewat.
Dan kita adalah bagian darinya.
Tak mungkin kau dan aku kembali ke waktu itu.
Dan memintanya hadir di masa kini.
Tak banyak yang mampu dilakukan.
Kecuali mengenang . . .

Lelaki sepuluh huruf,

"breithlá sona"

(*) dimodifikasi dari Perempuan Lima Huruf oleh Bayu Indra Pratama (2011).
Link  : http://www.facebook.com/notes/bayu-indra-pratama/perempuan-lima-huruf/10150199677674809

My First Assignment :)

Hari ini tugas pertama di kembalikan oleh dosen berikut dengan komentar dan penilaian. Alhamdulillah, ternyata hasilnya melebihi dari dugaan. Terima kasih ya Rabb, semoga Engkau selalu melimpahkan keberkahan ilmu bagi hamba. Amin ya rabbalalamin :)

Anxiety Rules :(

Virgo: Daily Extended for April 1, 2011

 Overview

You are capable and intelligent, and you know it -- so why do you feel the need to prove it to anyone else? Do not worry about what other people think of you right now, because their opinions have no influence over you (or at least they shouldn't). These people do not know the real you, so let go of your concerns about how you fit in. Your anxiety is causing you to take on a more self-conscious energy, and that could snowball into a streak of negative self-esteem.


Source : http://shine.yahoo.com/astrology/virgo/daily-extended/20110401/


B.I.N.G.O ! That's just so me now. Having trouble in dealing with this perfectionism, procrastination and anxiety  leads me to deadlock. Hate it !

Just a little kick in my head !

Okay, March is bout to end.
Lots and lots of works are waiting for me in couple weeks.
Deadline ! Yeah, two assignments will be due at the same time. 
Sometimes I wonder and doubt, if I ever will be able to get through all of this...
Hsu.f.f.f.f . . . .